nut hugger
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
