I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
