He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Is it penis luge time yet?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
