I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
