He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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