My girlfriend figured out who you are.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
