You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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