mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
