he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
