found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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