I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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