I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
