Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
