So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
