Banned from zoo.
Again?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
So squirting runs in the family.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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