hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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