Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I cut my penus on the lid.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
