There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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