I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
