I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she looked like the before picture.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
