My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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