i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
