He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The adults are the big ones right?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
