she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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