I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
