Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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