Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
