Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
