WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Also, beer. Big fan.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
