id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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