This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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