i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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