If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Acid is not a monday night drug
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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