yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
