She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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