Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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