omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dicks are not precious.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
