i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
