just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
