i jhust puked up my retainher.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
