You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
