Duck Duck Cougar?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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