She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
