can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
