my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
