I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
and you fell through a lawn chair
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
