careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
