mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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