I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
