CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
