My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
