I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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